AvX#4

By Ayo

There is no way that Captain America knocks out Warpath in two paces, off panel. Bullshit. Can’t happen. Warpath has Thing-level strength, he should be able to deadlift more than Luke Cage.

I would absolutely bet on Captain America in a fight with any strong guy except for Juggernaut and the Hulk. But that’s gotta be more involved than a mysterious off-panel knockout while Giant-Man gets beat up.

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AnyANYway, Avengers Vs X-Men # 4 will be known as the one where Wolverine wears a bear. Wolverine walks across the Antarctic, following a trail of beer cans left as bait while wearing a polar bear tied to his arms and that is basically unbeatable for imagery in comics right now.

I’m not sure if polar bears actually live in the Antarctic. I thought that they only lived in the Arctic. Who cares? It is a beautiful image and it is exactly why pulp comics exist. The genre of pulp exists so that we can look at a drawing of a man walking through the snow with a dead bear on his back, paws tied to his forearms.

The secret is that it’s played completely straight. Script-writer Jonathan Hickman makes a pun that would make Brandon Graham proud.

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Spoiler: in this issue, everybody goes to the moon. As you may be aware, the moon is the location of the final battle in the classic X-Men story “Phoenix Must Die!”

In this current comic book, the Phoenix has finally arrived, presumably to make Hope Summers its new host. Feel that? In elbowing you in the ribs. You get that? See what they did there? Do you see?

I’m just teasing, I’m as sentimental as the next guy. Of course the battle over the new presumptive Phoenix host should take place on the moon. It must. Really, there isn’t a better place for this story to end up.

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John Romita Jr must have gotten on somebody’s bad side because what Marvel is allowing Scott Hanna to do to his pencils is technically illegal in nineteen states.